Not only do I stop to study all these things but I usually photograph them as well.

And I’ve been known to bring in more than a few “goodies” from the dumpsters outside my apartment. My desk is a cool sturdy one that I found out there. It has character with names, phrases and pictures drawn and carved on it.  My office chair is a totally cool leopard print number with cool wood-carved legs and it’s so comfortable.  It was also pre-scratched by someone elses cat so I don’t feel bad when Merlin climbs up and down it.

I like things that are used because they have a story with them, a history. I think that because so much of my family things are gone – most of my baby photos, family mementos and things like that, that I like to have something with a past, even if it’s not mine …

But more than finding goodies and bringing them home, I just like to look at stuff I see lying on the sidewalk, I don’t care if it’s a love letter or a shopping list, I’ll stop to look.  (one of my favorite web sites: www.foundmagazine.com). I like to wonder about who and what is the story behind the note, or the photo. Or what darkness makes someone spray hateful words on a wall, or why someone would discard a photo of a child, or roses, or love notes …

I would really like to get inside people’s heads … to really know what is in there and what they think and how they really feel. Since I can’t do that I am left to investigate through the bits left behind.

Somehow everything became very unfine. I started thinking about how people expect photography to be free. And how I’m not making much money and I’m scared because more money is going out than is coming in and will I make it and what will happen and … oh my …

I started sobbing and blubbering as I was driving down the freeway.

I was ready to go home and have a family meeting. I was going to tell Josh to move out, I was going to break up with Jeremy and I was going to pack my stuff and move to … well, I really didn’t know where. Just away …

And no, I really don’t know how any of that would have helped me in any way.

Fortunately, once I met up with my friend and I started taking pictures nothing else mattered. Getting a happy face out of a getting tired three-month-old takes too much effort to focus on internal drama. Convincing the same tired three-month-old that wearing wings and a tutu is a fun idea is also quite a challenge!

After many photos and a yummy lunch and catching up with my friend all feelings from earlier had evaporated and I didn’t feel like I had to take drastic measures.  I don’t even know what had gotten me to that point. It was so sudden and unexpected.

I still do think that the feeling people now have towards photography is unfortunate. Whether it is art or a service doesn’t matter. People should expect to pay for it, just like they pay for a birthday cake, the dentist or car repair.  If you want these “beautiful memories” why are you so unwilling to pay the person who helps you create them?

In an uncanny stroke of brilliant timing, a friend emailed me last night to see if I wanted to do some wedding photos for for his ex who is remarrying. She had asked him to do it because she of course wants them for free. He didn’t want to do it so he wanted to recommend me. As a paid professional of course.  And if the bride-to-be is willing to pay I am happy to oblige.  And if she doesn’t want to pay all she needs to do is head over to Craigslist and pick one of the many camera owners who are willing to work for free and hope for the best.

Because advertising is SO expensive I look to low cost alternatives. Unfortunately, craigslist is free … and it’s a crazy land … and popular with all sorts of camera-owning photographer types. Some include totally professional ads with samples of really good work. Some … don’t.

Because I often check out the ads to see what I’m up against, I often chuckle (or gasp, or beat my head against my desk) at some of the wording.  Of course everyone is “creative,”  “affordable,” and produces “unique” images but sometimes they offer so much more:

“Once I have received your information, I will direct you to my professionally designed website where you can see my work and get ready to fall in love with my photography.”

“I do not use photoshop or editing. … However, I am confident these images will not likely need editing or retouching as I am a good photographer.”
(This ad also included a link to a review of his camera – a sony.)

“As you can see, I am not just another guy with a camera; I am an artist.”

“DETAILS!
EMOTIONS!
FEELINGS!
ACTIONS!
WITH PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHER YOU WILL GET THE MOST BEAUTIFUL IMAGES FOR A GOOD PRICE!”

“xxxxxxxxx xxxxxx Photography uses only the latest and highest quality of digital equipment to capture your special moments.”

“Be good looking and in moderate shape. Sorry, but it cannot be very overweight couples”
(for wedding photography)

“Hire me, let’s create art from your wedding!”"This Is More Than Just Wedding Photography…These Are Memories Captured Forever.”

“Photography is my love and my passion. I aim to make your engagement photographs the best they can possibly be, to make them as memorable as the wedding itself.”

“Pro Photography – Weddings/Events/Portraits and more- Honest Prices”

“Enjoy a fun, laid back day while we capture moments that you’ll love to look back on!”

“CREATIVITY, MOOD, LIGHT, Special Effects, Digital Computer Effects. Want something really cool and different? GOT ANY KINDA KRAZY IDEAS?”

“I can be simple yet very creative with my subjects and strive to get all around great, fun, beautiful images.”

“I havent shot a Wedding before, so if there is a bride on a budget out there, I am willing to make a really good deal to photograph your wedding in exchange for pictures to ad to my portfolio!”

“Creative Event & Wedding Photography – I’ll beat any price”
(does he beat free? does he give you money?)

“In 2005, she decided to take this hobby a step further and took it upon herself to profoundly study the art of photography. “

“Location Portraits: Beautiful Beaches, Parks, your Secret Spot (or mine)…THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BEACHES IN LAGUNA ARE IN MY BACKYARD!”

http://www.lawsmuseum.org/

My baby is somewhat past the Gerber stage but she’s still adorable and my go-to model. Here she is helping me get more used to my light set-up and new background stand and muslin. I still need to deal with those awkward wrinkles in the fabric

Hoping to have a portable studio ready to go for in home portraits. Next item I plan to get: the baby poser. Cause who doesn’t need a foam wedge to fit baby into any shape you want!